Telling Your Loved Ones.

Down to the nitty gritty, this is probably what you’re most afraid of. Am I right? Both Emily and I have grown up in extremely conservative households. Our views are most definitely in a different universe compared to our parents. So naturally, we were both terrified to tell our parents. BUT, our therapists have made some really great points concerning this. Most of the time, your parents are going to love you no matter what. That’s what parents do, they support and love their children no matter what.

Now, I know this isn’t the case for everyone, and that’s why I’ve said over and over, gather your support team. Whether that means making new friends through support groups or gathering old friends who support you. BUST OUT. Keeping it all inside hurts no one but you, bust out of that jail, and start being who you were meant to be. You’ve got this, and you will be okay.

So anyway, to get to the point here, even our conservative parents still love us. They’re both really supportive actually. Which blew us both away, it was not what we were expecting at all. So do it, take the leap. You can do this.

I’m Ready, What Now?

If there’s one thing we’ve spent a ton of time researching, it’s where do you START when you’re ready to transition? So we did the work and put together a small list to help you get started:

  • Call your local family planning center. If you visit Planned Parenthood, you can enter your city, state, and/or zip code and they will point you to nearest clinic. Their site is great and even shows you what specific services each clinic offers! So user friendly.
  • If you don’t have a therapist, please please please get one. (your local family planning clinic should have a list of gender affirming therapists in your area, ask for a copy!). We’ve found therapists to be so beneficial through this process, it helps both you and your partner work through all the emotions involved in this process, and can help your or your partner process any dysphoria you/they may be having. Remember to keep communication open in your relationship, that is a huge piece to this!
  • Gather your support team. The people who love you, will be there for you. Having friends and/or family you can lean on during this transition will help you immensely. Join support groups! Your therapist may be able to point you to some in your community, and if you’re not into that type of thing, I recommend joining Facebook groups even just to read others stories as you may find that you can relate to a lot of them.

Lastly, and I’m sure you’ve already been doing this, BUT.. do tons and tons… and tons of research. I’ll attach some articles that we’ve found extremely helpful:

  • Family Planning Open Door Transgender Health Services: Click Here
  • Transition Roadmap from UCSF: Click Here
  • What Do I Need to Know About Transitioning? Planned Parenthood: Click Here

GOOD LUCK AND WE LOVE YOU

Here we come! Out!

person s hands with paint

Okay, I have a secret.. I’m a lesbian. That’s it, that’s the secret. BUT our story doesn’t end there. In fact, it’s just begun! My wife, her name is Emily, was my husband just a few short months ago (I’ve of course asked her permission to write about all of this). I met my wife in 2012 when I was pretty much an infant, I was 14 and she was 15. I was obsessed and we were inseparable through our high-school years. at 16, I had our first child, we married 3 years later and brought another little baby nugget into our family. SUPER fast forward to September of 2020, my then husband came out to me.

Bravery doesn’t even come close to explaining it. She was terrified. She spent months on Reddit threads and other places on the web researching how to tell me, what to do, and how I would react. We were alone in the car for our weekly Hobby Lobby trip (I’d need a whole new blog just to explain my love for crafts) and she told me. I asked her to pull into a parking lot so that we could talk about it as we were both bawling at this point. I know it wasn’t even a month ago, but I remember looking at her and just saying “I love you, I don’t care who you are, what you look like, none of it. You are my person and I’m here for you no matter what.”

Her face after I said that brought me instant relief. Not many people who come out to their partner are expecting them to stay. And the statistics on that actually shocked me. We cried together, did our Hobby Lobby haul, and spent the rest of the time talking about how excited we are for this journey together. Have you ever seen someone find themselves and it just makes you love them even more? Ya know?!

She was extremely nervous about calling Planned Parenthood and we did extensive research before picking up the phone. We didn’t even realize how many options are out there now. She called, and was able to get an appointment fairly quickly. As of today, she has been on HRT for 5 days and already talks about how much better she is starting to feel. With all of this, my hope is for someone to read this and have hope for their future with their partner as well. This is just the start, and thank you for following along.